This is a paper I wrote and was asked to publish for my English class. It's a contraction on a paper I did earlier on this year.

The past months have filled many with a growing anxiety and apprehension for the future as the financial pressures of today, worsening from the effects of the recession, become too much for some to bear. Yet, while some fight against the ever increasing weight of debt, there are countless stories where someone has come, relieving in some way the burdens that bind these people, which then enables them to turn to other labors renewed. Today, when many still struggle, the hope for the economy lies in each of us, who have hands able to reach out.

Because the shock on consumer spending is rattling our whole economy so entirely, it’s clear that recovery and future prevention will involve a change on all our parts. Letting some stay at the bottom without aid would only increase the number of homeless and therefore decrease the ability of many to develop in our economy as contributors. The government has turned to increase government spending, stimulating present demand while cutting investments and putting a heavy debt on future generations. This practice, while immediately effective, is only a quickest fix.

To make an economy capable of weathering this and future storms, every one of us must realize our part in spending our time, money, and efforts to invest in the power of others. Then each giver, inspiring the receiver to follow, will become a stone in the formation of an economy where each person can build on the next, and then everyone may be securely supported together.

Sorry!!! It's really really long...right after I clicked on "publish post" I realized how stinkin' long that post is.

Update and Request =)

All right...well, I couldn't think of a better way to do this. So, in advance, sorry if posting on the family blog doesn't suffice or if it offends you in anyway. BUT! Just as a general update about what's going on and what will be happening in the relatively near future for me...you ready? (Drumroll please!!!)

I'm going on a mission!!!!!

I've been praying and thinking about it seriously for the last month or so. It's actually been kind of interesting how it's all played out. I started out just considering it as one of those future options that didn't need any real thought at that moment in my life...as a far-off possibility that sounded good and, of course, seemed righteous. And for right then, I just left it alone. I was more focused on getting through this contract with the Lee-Wens and with all the other drama...a mission wasn't my priority. So, I put off (yet again) the actual act of praying about it because it didn't seem logical right then...this was back around February while I was still dating Keegan, by the way.

Anyway...the thought kept coming back to my mind...so near the middle of March I finally decided to start praying about it. And at first, I wasn't exactly sure which way it would go. I knew that it would be good if I decided to go and if I didn't, then I would be taken care of. (Heavenly Father is just pretty good like that...) But, amid all this, I had had many conversations with a friend here in Texas that was leaving for a mission and also I talked with Hannah a lot about her making the decision to go...and all this other stuff. But it was something that Hannah said that got me thinking I should serve. She told me that for her, it was just a simple question of "Are you worthy? And if so, are you willing to serve?"

From there, I started to get the feeling that it was right for me to go, but I just couldn't admit it to myself. So, more time passes, and I'm on the phone with Mom and she tells me that she's always wanted me to go on a mission and all this other stuff...but the thing that stuck out was that she wanted me to choose the gift of a mission for my family. To choose that gift for myself and my husband. Simply to choose it. And then, a few nights later, I was reading my Patriarchal blessing and I was reading it specifically in regards to me serving a mission. It talks a lot about my being a teacher and the effect I'll have when I teach, but the phrase "stand as a witness" is used multiple times. This time, that phrase meant more than just in context to what the whole sentance was. It was a call/plea/answer for me to make the decision to choose to stand as a witness of my Savior.

But me, being the stubborn, willful person that I am...I still was having doubts. Then this one Sunday before church...it was actually fast Sunday before conference, I was saying my prayers before going to church and I was having a very difficult time comitting to the psuedo-decision to go on a mission. So, I was just saying my prayer and I finally realized what I wanted most. I wanted to get married...I wanted to just be married so I could be a mom and start raising my family...I wanted to be the best mom I could be...with this realization came the unwavering knowledge that a mission would help me reach my desired goal. I went to church that day with this serene knowledge that I would be serving a mission...and then that week went by, and by conference weekend, I was YET AGAIN not sure anymore.

Yes...I do realize how ridiculous and dense I am...and I apologize about that...BUT! It actually is what makes the rest of it really cool. SO! I watch conference that weekend with the specific intent to finally make a decision once and for all about going on a mission. It wasn't like there was one talk that spoke the impression of me going on a mission super clearly, but, rather, it was a question I wrote down in my notes as a result of President Monson's closing remarks on Sunday afternoon. The overall feeling that I got from that talk was one of action. We need to start actively serving the Lord in what we do, no matter what we are asked to do. So...at the end of his talk, I started just scribbling all this stuff out. I was asking myself all these questions about taking action until I finally ended with, "Will you serve the Lord?" To which my answer was, "YES!"

Later that week, after a trying experience invloving Keegan, I asked for a blessing from the EQP in my ward and he called up another guy, who I've gotten close to, to come help with the blessing. After the blessing, the three of us were sitting around talking and Paul, the EQP, asked what I was going to do after Texas. I replied with "I dunno...school, mission...something." A few minutes later, Jeddy, the other guy, said, "I thought this a few moments ago, and I feel like I need to say it...you already know what you're supposed to do." I just looked at Jeddy and nodded my head and said, "You know what? You're exactly right. I do know what I'm supposed to do. I'm supposed to serve a mission."

And from then, I have not doubted that I am supposed to go on a mission. I talked to my bishop about a mission today and even he confirmed it. I came in, sat down and informed him that I wanted to go on a mission, so what do I need to do from here? And he looked me in the eye and replied with, "Yeah...this feels good. It feels exactly right..."

So, this is where I'm at right now. The only problem/difficulty in my finally making the decision to go on a mission, is that I can't begin the paperwork until 3 months prior to my availabilty date. Meaning, if I finish out my contract with the Lee-Wens (which goes through December) I can't start filling out the paperwork until September. And if I don't want to wait that long, then I need to figure out a way to convince/pursuade the Lee-Wens to let me go in August...or at least, to be willing to let me go then. Which brings me to my request...during this next week, I will be working up the courage and the right words to address the parents about my decision. To be honest, I'm slightly terrified about it because these people are very intimidating and I'm under contract so they don't have to do anything. They can make me wait until December to leave without blinking an eye. So I ask, that in your prayers this week, that you will pray their hearts will be softened when I present my case to them. Also that the Lord's will will be done either way...

And that's about it. :) Thanks for reading this big ol' thing and for your prayers and help. I'm at a point where I just need all the help I can get. I've been ridiculous with how long it's taken me to actually recognize what I'm supposed to be doing, so now, I don't want to keep waiting. I have my answer, so I just want to move forward with it. I love you all so very much. Thanks again for everything you have done, all that you currently do, and everything you continue to do. I couldn't ask for better brothers and sisters-in-law and parents to be my examples.

PS...the church is TRUE!!!!

Phil's German Chocolate Cake

I don't want this post to sound too deceiving, just wanted to make clear that Phil did not make a German Chocolate Cake...but he did eat one.

http://skinnycakery.blogspot.com/2009/04/german-chocolate-cake.html

You can read about it on my blog. Oh, and Emily - I put on there a really cute picture of Madison and I'll have to email you some others that we have of you and Phil sometime before before you or I die (whichever comes first...).